If your idea of “sailing music” involves Christopher Cross, consider shipping out with this floating fiesta hosted by Green Potato Ventures, PartyEnds.com , Austinist, Super, and Independence Brewery. Not only are you guaranteed not to hear any yacht-rock—unless it’s ironic, of course—you’ll also be treated to all-inclusive beer, liquor, and food while some of the best local artists drop anchor and throw your preconceptions overboard. The furthest one can get from Michael McDonald and Kenny Loggins et al., headliner White Denim mashes twisted dance-punk, guttural blues, and spazzed-out funk, while DJs Markus With A K and Hustle Simmons provide the electro-waves with Super manning the visuals. That’s thousands of dollars worth of equipment floating on Lake Travis, all for your entertainment. Here’s hoping for red skies at night. www.theonion.com