The Latins named the month of May “Maius,” or “of Maia” meaning, “the
great one.” Maia references the Italic goddess of spring, the daughter
of Faunus and the wife of Vulcan. It’s fairly common knowledge that
Vulcan was a real lover of the ponies, always found down at the
track, tip sheet in hand, losing tickets scattered at his sandal clad
feet, but very few knew that he was also half Mexican, and one hell of a
dresser. Well, when you take all of these factors into consideration,
it quickly becomes very clear as to why the ancient peoples decided to
hold the Kentucky Derby on the first Saturday in May, which they had the
foresight to understand would fall directly on the 5th every few years,
and Derby de Mayo was born. A true melting pot of heritage and
traditions all held together with queso and washed down with Mint Juleps
and beer con lime.
We at A.S.S. predict this year to be the
greatest Kentucky Derby Chaos to date, and we hope you all can come and
join us. While this affair is usually restricted to proper Churchill
Downs attire, we couldn't overlook the Halley’s Comet like alignment of
the moons, and the requests of our ancient ancestors, and allow for the
Mexican celebration of Cinco de Mayo (which cannot be directly
translated into modern times, but loosely decoded means “honor the Gods
of cruise ships & spring break,”) and appropriate fiesta attire.
There will once again be awards for Best Chica, Best Dressed Male, and
the feverishly anticipated Best Hat. As always, this will be the social
event of the season, gambling is encouraged along with drinking in
moderation y dancing your face off.