Yeah, it was kinda gross. But hey, someone has to answer these kinds of questions. This time around, we've decided to hone in on the opposite end of the lavatorial spectrum: the best bathrooms in Austin. They are: a few minutes of quiet away from the loud music and pulsing lights of a nightclub. A well-lit room to take selfies and reapply makeup. An intimate line to have a conversation with a stranger. And mostly, a place to finally pee after holding it for just a little too long. Bathrooms are sanctuaries — and for the smart business owner, they sometimes have just as much character as the cafe, club, bar or store itself.
By Rory Jones, UPDATE BY EMILY GIBSON
2008 S Congress Ave
A lot of people don't even know that the Jade Room at C-Boys Heart & Soul is there. It exists in its own little world, tucked away up some stairs in the patio of the venue. Up those stairs lies not only a fantastic (if a bit more subdued) auxiliary bar, but an unexpectedly spacious bathroom. As its namesake would imply, the Jade Room is an unexpectedly attractive shade of dark green. Not the usual color palette you expect from a bathroom. Next time you're at C-Boys, go take a look at this palace of zen for yourself.
Photo Credit: Roger Ho
1600 W. 5th St
Did you think this list was going to be populated only with exceptionally clean bathrooms? Nope. Our criteria for the best bathrooms in Austin does indeed account for cleanliness, but personality is an equally important component. No frills Clarksville watering hole Donn's Depot has a bathroom with oodles of personality. Observe the interestingly placed furniture and read through all the clever graffiti if you want to get an in-depth feel for it. The writings on the wall, as it were.
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Photo credit: emily gibson
900 Red River Street
It takes a lot to get voted “Best Bathroom For Sex” by OkCupid voters (I mean, OK, it doesn’t take that much). But it's quite the accolade, and a fitting one for Austin’s beloved queer dance and concert club on Red River, where the bathrooms are a sweet-smelling (that isn’t a joke, they always smell good) refuge from a sweaty club. Painted a pastel color with an ornate gold mirror and perfect selfie lighting, many scenesters herald the Cheer Ups bathroom as a place to selfie, gab, pee and — well, I guess have sex?
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Photo via TripAdvisor
1209 E. 11th Street
Just as clean, eclectic and quirky as the rest of this East Side eatery, the Hillside Farmacy bathrooms are a bright and beautiful place to check yourself out. With large, clean mirrors, bright lighting and fun decor, these bathrooms are an easy must-visit for anyone who finds themselves on a toilet tour of Austin.
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Photo credit: Emily Gibson
1303 S. Congress Avenue
Known for the cherry blossoms that hang from the ceiling, neon signs and themed decor, Lucky Robot is an interesting visual experience as well as a place for sushi lovers to score some interesting bites. The bathrooms are up to par: dimly lit with pink neon lighting, film reel wallpaper and a plant, the bathrooms are just as visually interesting as the rest of the restaurant.
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Photo via Fine Line
1800 E. 6th Street
Wallpaper lovers look no further: the bathroom in this Mexican eatery is adorned with flamingo and frond wallpaper that create a fun, tropical vibe. With natural-colored mirrors, white tile and bright lighting, these bathrooms are not only functional, but also Instagrammable. Talk about checking all the boxes.
Photo Credit: Roger Ho
615 S. Lamar Blvd
The restroom at Eberly straight up looks like it belongs in The Titanic. It is a thing of shiny, perfectly detailed magnificence. The product of a thousand correct design decisions, and functional to boot. The thing that makes the Eberly bathroom worthy of inclusion is that not only is it opulent, it is exceedingly inviting.
514 Medina St.
Fukumoto has one of those bathrooms that's so nice you can't help but mutter "Holy shit" and then congratulate yourself on the inadvertent pun. Seriously, y'all, this restroom glows. Rarely do you step into a restroom that genuinely feels like someplace you could take a vacation in, but Fukumoto somehow did exactly that. The only downside of Fukumoto's restroom is that at some point, you will need to stop admiring it and return to your table.
Photo Credit: Roger Ho
1911 Aldrich St. Suite 120
Political squabbling around the so-called "Bathroom Bill" was at a steady roar when Alamo Drafthouse founder Tim League took to social media to crowdsource design opinions on their then-upcoming Mueller location's bathrooms. League managed to sidestep the issue entirely and deliver on his pledge to deliver a restroom experience that "met city codes, is comfortable for all genders, and gets the job done." Located inside of the Alamo Drafthouse Mueller location, these bathrooms come equipped with an array of sleekly designed stalls that serve any and all people while still allowing for privacy.
Photo Credit: Roger Ho
2211 Webberville Rd
In our humble experience, a flamingo print is an immediate indicator that you're in a great bathroom. This is certainly the case in Kitty Cohen's funky lavatory. Not only is bathroom squeaky clean, it's wonderfully funky. It makes sense, given that 70s chic is pretty much Kitty Cohen's entire modus operandi.
Photo Credit: Roger Ho
200 Lavaca Street
Those in the know will not be surprised by the W Austin's inclusion on this list. It's one of the O.G. best bathrooms in Austin; the one that many people will think of as an automatic default when asked where the toilets in town reside. The W's bathrooms are impeccably clean, fragrant, and the perfect place to escape the world for a few minutes.
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Photo via Yelp
501 E. 53rd Street
Home Slice’s relatively new North location is almost always packed. But whether you visit as a family, a solo diner or on a first date, you can benefit from a trip to this stocked bathroom. Visually appealing with a cool color and fun decor, the bathroom also provides some essentials to guests. So whether you need mouthwash, a Q-tip or a tampon, you’ll be able to find it here — and that’s the true spirit of bathroom-hood.
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SOME OTHER BATHROOMS WE THINK ARE COOL:
1234 S. Lamar Blvd.
4827 E Cesar Chavez St.
1133 E. 11th St.
6214 Cameron Rd
2713 E 2nd St.
119 E 5th St.
111 E. Cesar Chavez St.
Got a favorite bathroom in Austin?
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